gender fluidity

what do you see as your personal "gender range?" Is there a clear definition between when you feel "male" or "female" or "androgynous," "non-gendered," "blended," etc? Or are you always in a state of flux?

Its a question I ran into on fetlife, in a gender fluid group. I wanted to answer but I want to answer here first, as a way of sort of drafting my response. I want a really wordy response like everyone else for some reason. Cause it is something that crosses my mind a lot. I want to get deeply involved with the transgender and gender queer communities...

But to answer the question...

I think my gender range is kind of narrow but within that narrow range its always in flux. Its on the femme side for masculine, think an effeminate male, long hair and long nails, but its sort of non-gendered for feminine, baggy pants, baggy shirts, really nondescript not really form fitting, wife beaters notwithstanding. But its a fluid blended mix of this femme male trying to be a masculine female, if that makes sense. But I am not in anyway butch, in fact I despise the word. I identify as a femme boi, I'm a boy that wants to be a girl, and that's the simplest way for me to say it. I'm a boy that wants to be a girl. But I'm not high femme like make up and dresses, no, I like my baggy jeans and layered shirts very much thank you -smirk-

But its also so fluid that it may change as I grow into this budding gender identity and find my gender expression which is a little difficult right now, but hey, all in due time right?

So that's my answer, I had a nice tie in with my sometimes asexuality but I'm not really feeling that right now, guess that's what I get for procrastinating on writing this blog and multi-tasking, right? Lol!

Asexuality and Erotica?

I started writing this story, and like stories are, it became rebellious, it was supposed to be some story about virginal dominance, but then one of the characters turned out to be asexual and the other not. And I still want to write it about BDSM, but would it still be considered erotica because an asexual is involved?


Asexuals don’t do sexual things, now I have it figured out that the BDSM elements in the story are just that, BDSM without the sex, its just pain, humiliation … that kind of thing, for the aesthetic of it, so he says (the character, the asexual one), but the characters, they have a nice dynamic going on here, I think. It could prove interesting, at the very least, original.


I’m thinking of just making it a novella and then finding a way to incorporate actual photography as the ‘illustration’ for the book, and maybe read it on podio-books as a way of exposing the book … you know advertisement.


Why can’t asexuals have erotica? I don’t think I’m asexual, though I definitely have tendencies. I consider myself celibate. I’m not ready for sex. I may be of age where its okay to have sex, but I don’t want to catch anything, and I don’t want to start any family I’m not prepared for. Its just not happening. Abstinence is the best form of birth control anyway.


I try to look at people, that I find attractive and beautiful and think sexual thoughts about them and nothing happens, I mean, I try to imagine them naked and its just, not there. I’m thinking it could be a kin thing. I would need to have a primal connection with someone or some sort of metaphysical chemistry with someone before I could even think of doing something like that. I roleplay sex scenes all the time and its fun, even exciting, almost arousing, but that’s it. Its just pretend. It’s a different animal entirely when you have it face to face in YOUR reality and its you and not some character faced with the opportunity to get busy with someone.


Its one of those things that seem like a good idea, but really, its quite daunting and frightening. Even if you try to look at it with as little gravity as possible see it as a casual joining of bodies with a biochemical reaction that sometimes results in new life. Not as a strong union that expels a great amount of energy and potentially bonds two souls on a Divine and possibly eternal level, it’s the ultimate act of intimacy where you get to see yourself and another at their most vulnerable, most beautiful and most powerful all at once.


See how I think its frightening? I could probably survive being an asexual because I don’t know what I’m missing, not really, but I have a feeling that if I meet someone who I have a primal connection with, sex will inevitably happen. I can visualize that much. It will be on an unspoken level, a level of feeling only, its strange how I know how it will be, like its happened before, but just not in this lifetime. Blah. Whatever. I sound weird when I talk like that, like I’m some hoodoo, psychic person. So I try not to talk that way if I can help it. Anyway, the point of this blog was to talk about sex and asexuality, it is my first BDSM related post, hurrah. I have more ideas about BDSM topics that I will post in the future, so stay tuned, and if I feel up to it, feel brave, I may even post an excerpt of my story.