Discovered my Role!!!!

I've been giving it a great deal of thought about what my role is and upon this discovery, I managed to stumble upon my role. Fetishist. In particular a roleplay fetishist. Everything from Dungeons and Dragons to Harry Potter Literate/Text-based roleplays.

Part of me thinks its kind of rushed to discover this so early without having actually 'played' at a dungeon or fet party or anything, but it feels right, sounds right. And the idea of taking the role of Dom/me or sub just makes me think 'well, it depends on the character/world I'm in at the time'.

So, this may change, but for the moment, I will identify as a roleplay fetishist. That way I'm not tied down to the strict preconceptions of each role Dominant and submissive and what's expected for each. By calling myself a fetishist, it focuses on the fetish, which for me is roleplaying. and not necessarily the role and limits and all that. If that makes any sense at all.

Anyway. I'm happy. Even if I have defected and started reading Twilight, yet another world to roleplay in. It could be fun, if I can find someone to roleplay Carlisle to my fangirl non-canon character who probably fits more in the world of Trinity blood, but I want her to be in love with Carlisle even so. Just like another masochistic vampire in the series *cough* Edward *cough*

What is it about masochism that is so appealing? Maybe that will be another turn of events in my role discovery/revision ...etc.

Moving Offline *looks around for cyber boxes*

It seems I am slowly moving my life offline. As I have been online and only online for a matter of years. I will still keep my online life, I will just have a LIFE to match it, or to go along beside it, like a daemon or something bizarre and weird and hard to get used to ... >.>

I went to my first BDSM Munch last week. It was great, not weird or full of obvious creepy people. It was one of those funky visuals that you get when you aren't sure of something. That people will be like the
online weirdos you sometimes encounter.

But no, thankfully they were all funny and nice and 'normal' for lack of a better word. I am sad, really, that I have no basis for what people are like any more, I've been online for too long. Its kinda crazy to use my real name any more too. Cause I'm so used to being anonymous or having x amount of aliases. Every time you create a new account you create a new identity.

Speaking of identity, I went to an energy work shop too, last week. It was an open house by House Vespertine and their affliates. It was very fun, very insightful, opened my eyes to my identity, like what is my energetic structure, what are my energetic needs. I really think I'm closer to my awakening. Which is good, right?

My best friend is moving out of the country and I have very little friends to actually hang out with. I am really starting to crave interaction with people. My roleplay characters are active, well, active enough. I just need some reality to balance me out, and it seems to be coming to me, in all forms, slowly, even my online contact with my gf, seems to be getting less. She has issues that prevent her from coming online much and its hard to do some of the things we do online via phone and its a long distance relationship.

I feel slightly neglected but its not her fault, I'm probably just being needy, I have my book that I'm working on, so that should keep me occupied, right? And I have books, and other characters and roleplays to keep me busy. I should count my blessings and be happy. Focus my thoughts on getting more offline friends. I can see them in my head, just need to get rid of the things that are blocking me from getting it, the contradictions that keep the plant from breaking the surface of the earth.

Okay, enough rambling and updates. I will gather my notes from the energy work shop and post them on here soon. They aren't extensive, but they're still good, I think, and its a monthly thng so I will be able to post something on a regular basis.

Until Next time ...

Star Fygment.